The Future of Mormon Motherhood

I recently read an article on the future of Mormon mothers written by someone asked to speak on behalf of the women of my faith. Because her viewpoint differed slightly from my own and what I have understood coming from the "tabernacle pulpit," as it was put, I have since wanted to put to words my own opinion as my future as a Mormon mother.

Here is the link: http://www.patheos.com/Resources/Additional-Resources/The-Future-of-Mormon-Motherhood?offset=1&max=1

And here is my response:

I appreciated Neylan McBaine’s view of Mormon motherhood. As a Mormon mother, I would like to add my own.

One of the most powerful perspectives my faith has provided me on this subject is that motherhood is my birthright.

“Do not trade your birthright as a mother for some bauble of passing value. Let your first interest be in your home. May you not trade a present thing of transient value for the greater good of sons and daughters, boys and girls, young men and women for whose upbringing you have an inescapable responsibility.” (Gordon B. Hinckley, “Your Greatest Challenge, Mother,” Ensign, Nov. 2000, 97–100)

I remember well when President Hinckley taught this message; somehow it was seared into my soul. In Old Testament times a birthright of wealth, power, land, etc., was given to the oldest child with the understanding that it would then be used to care for the rest of the family. That motherhood is my birthright, to me means that motherhood was given to me from a rich Father in Heaven who wants to share His wealth with me. I am queen of this small kingdom, endowed with an extra portion of wealth and of power to bless His children He gives to my care. Bringing myself, and His own!, back to Him is my greatest opportunity and my greatest responsibility. As Latter-day Saints we understand that becoming more like our Father is not just part of this mortal experience; it is the overarching purpose of life.

General Relief Society President, Julie B. Beck, has taught, “Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth.” In that same vein, although my efforts outside the home can be of benefit to many, all the professional work or community service that I render will avail me and that community nothing if I am not first succeeding in my efforts and tasks at home as a mother. And yes that effort includes a nutritious dinner and a peaceful, ordered home—which I would clarify are not retro, but inarguably requisite for an optimal “climate.” (I wonder when food and shelter stopped mattering, or ceased to be something worth working for. Oxygen may be ubiquitous and old-fashioned--what’s been around longer?--but that doesn’t lessen our need for its presence.) How much I accomplish outside my home is of little worth if these outside efforts have so depleted me that I no longer have my best to give to my birthright. Maybe I don’t have the confidence to think I can take on more jobs and do them all well. In truth I don’t even desire to try. I just want to do motherhood and I want to do it well.

Some may worry that this is culturally how motherhood should look; for me, this is authentically how motherhood feels.

"You have nothing in this world more precious than your children. When you grow old, when your hair turns white and your body grows weary, when you are prone to sit in a rocker and meditate on the things of your life, nothing will be so important as the question of how your children have turned out. It will not be the money you have made. It will not be the cars you have owned. It will not be the large house in which you live. The searing question that will cross your mind again and again will be, How well have my children done?

"If the answer is that they have done very well, then your happiness will be complete. If they have done less than well, then no other satisfaction can compensate for your loss" (ibid., Hinckley).

It is my great joy to give my life to this work.